In the ER, I meet the patient first. Then I meet the man in the chair beside the bed: the son who drives his father to every visit, the husband who has not slept a full night in months. He rarely says he is struggling. He usually is.
Men are caregivers too
About 63 million Americans, nearly 1 in 4 adults, gave ongoing care to a family member or friend in the past year, according to the 2025 Caregiving in the US report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving. About 38% of those caregivers are men.
Signs you are running on empty
- You skip your own checkups and medicines.
- You are sleeping badly, drinking more or snapping at people you love.
- You feel like you have no one to hand the load to, even for an afternoon.
Five ways to keep going
- Keep your own appointments. Your health is part of the care plan. Check your checkup list.
- Write it down. Keep one page with medicines, doctors, allergies and emergency contacts for the person you care for. A free medical ID from QR Medic can help in an emergency.
- Ask for one specific thing. "Can you sit with Dad Saturday morning?" works better than "Let me know if you can help."
- Find the local help. Call 211 to find caregiver support, respite care and services near you. See my help lines.
- Talk to other men. A friend who has done it, or a group that meets every week, makes the load lighter. Start with the Bring a Brother tool.
If you ever feel you might hurt yourself or the person you care for, call or text 988 now. In danger, call 911.
Want a bigger circle? I meet with men most Saturdays at METal, a community for men in media, entertainment, technology, arts and leadership founded by my friend Ken Rutkowski. That link is my personal guest and referral link.
I speak on this to men's groups, companies and conference stages. Book me to speak, or read more at https://www.HarveyCastroMD.com.